A woman walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The woman said she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eye got big and he said, "I cant give you cyanide to kill your husband! Thats against the law! I'll lose my license and they will throw you and me into jail. Just leave and forget you ever came in here before i call the police."
The woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "Well, now. You didnt tell me you had a prescription."

Nice.....

Good one!

One evening, after the honeymoon, Dick was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence, she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense, and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment…and what’s the use of that vintage hot rod?”

Dick got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

He replied, “You were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!?” she shouted, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Dick replied, “I wasn’t…”

And they are so shocked when you say " If they didn't have a pussy there would be a bounty "

Man my wife tell me the same thing what you need that for.