Tourist season is here (satire)

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  • USAF Sarge

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    When I lived in Panama City in the 70s, before and after Labor Day was like night and day. You could go to the beach the day after Labor Day and all the businesses were closed and it was like a ghost town. Really nice.
    Destin was the same way.
    After I moved to Pensacola in 1979 I used to look forward to the drive to PC after Labor Day. That was before Henderson Park and the drive through that area was along the Gulf. There was nothing but woods from Sandestin to Phillips Inlet.
    Heck, I remember the old 2 lane drawbridge in Panama City. On a holiday weekend, the westbound traffic to the beach would back up to Lisenby Ave.

    My dad was stationed at Tyndall 65-67 with me being born in 66. My parents had pictures of a lot of the roads between Tyndall and Panama City beach. Amazing how undeveloped it was then, and that parts of 98 were only a dirt road. When we came through here in 80 on our way to Homestead AFB, after leaving Okinawa. My parents pointed out places that didn't exist, which was a lot, and where the dirt roads were. I guess if I'm remembering correctly Business 98 was the main drag.
     
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    Big Shrek

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    Thank you very much for the laughs, while the situation itself wasn't funny, your description of your actions had me and my wife laughing. Just what the doctor ordered a good healthy laugh.

    Spent a few nights going "Holy Bleep!" after it happened...couldn't even sit with my feet on the floor...Wife laughs when any kind of gator or croc is shown on TV, because I automatically pull my feet up onto the couch and it's the only time I do that!! But ya gotta make fun of bad/scary stuff afterwards, helps one deal with absolute horror ;)

    Besides, when you've survived & witnessed as much crazy stuff as I have, gotta chalk it all up to "Someone Up There Likes Me!" Or "Hey, let's put this silly guy into the most screwed up situation as possible, and see what he does next!"

    Possibly it's all related to how one deals with death, or the near happening of it. Been 50 years of close calls and somehow humor seems to be the constant...if you look deeply enough into almost any incident, there's funny in there somewhere...might be totally screwed up funny, like most firefighter/veteran humor tends to be...

    Heck, a buddy of mine passed away right after a medical procedure last week...and after the "Aw Man! that sucks! He was way too young to croak like that!!" my mind automatically went to..."Well, looks like my old college girlfriend is available now! #funeralcrashers" and that scene from "Wedding Crashers" popped into my head. Its like I'm incapable of having heavy thoughts for any length of time without finding a way to turn it into a joke. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but at least I'll never be one of the 22, because I'd get caught up in trying to figure out how to hit Death in the face with a Pie :D
     

    USAF Sarge

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    Spent a few nights going "Holy Bleep!" after it happened...couldn't even sit with my feet on the floor...Wife laughs when any kind of gator or croc is shown on TV, because I automatically pull my feet up onto the couch and it's the only time I do that!! But ya gotta make fun of bad/scary stuff afterwards, helps one deal with absolute horror ;)

    Besides, when you've survived & witnessed as much crazy stuff as I have, gotta chalk it all up to "Someone Up There Likes Me!" Or "Hey, let's put this silly guy into the most screwed up situation as possible, and see what he does next!"

    Possibly it's all related to how one deals with death, or the near happening of it. Been 50 years of close calls and somehow humor seems to be the constant...if you look deeply enough into almost any incident, there's funny in there somewhere...might be totally screwed up funny, like most firefighter/veteran humor tends to be...

    Heck, a buddy of mine passed away right after a medical procedure last week...and after the "Aw Man! that sucks! He was way too young to croak like that!!" my mind automatically went to..."Well, looks like my old college girlfriend is available now! #funeralcrashers" and that scene from "Wedding Crashers" popped into my head. Its like I'm incapable of having heavy thoughts for any length of time without finding a way to turn it into a joke. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but at least I'll never be one of the 22, because I'd get caught up in trying to figure out how to hit Death in the face with a Pie :D

    You're absolutely right there, some people are turned off by my comical approach to my health issues. Last year I was awoken 3 times by a friggin "European siren" sound, after I heard it a forth time I figured it was me or should I say my ICD. I apparently broke one of my leads and it was sounding an alarm every 3 hours.

    Told the docs at the ER I hear little ambulances running around in my chest and that either the pop corn is done or I'm getting ready to blow-up. I've learned that if I joke about it, I'm less stressed and the panic mode doesn't kick-in, which makes it easier when dealing with stressful situations. Besides I'm told that laughing is healthy for you........
     

    Snake-Eyes

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    Bump for a question (I searched and couldn't find the answer here or on the Google) :

    Is there a website or other techie way to find out what flag conditions are at specific beaches in Santa Rosa County, and Escambia and Okaloosa, too, if able?

    I've got some family and friends in-town for the week staying nearby. They asked; I couldn't find a simple source.
    Figured I'd ask you folks.

    Thanks!
     

    wildrider666

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    I've never found a Site for Beach or Entry Point# listing conditions. I do know that beach conditions are checked a couple times a day and can vary Flags within a named beach area.

    We have had six people drown th the last two weeks during Red and double Red Flag Conditions. Five tourists and one Local that went in to pull in two drunk tourist girls.
     

    Snake-Eyes

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    Yeah, I had to explain the double-red flag situation and currents and undertow...

    Thanks. If anyone knows of a source, I'll keep checking here.
     

    MauserLarry

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    You're absolutely right there, some people are turned off by my comical approach to my health issues. Last year I was awoken 3 times by a friggin "European siren" sound, after I heard it a forth time I figured it was me or should I say my ICD. I apparently broke one of my leads and it was sounding an alarm every 3 hours.

    Told the docs at the ER I hear little ambulances running around in my chest and that either the pop corn is done or I'm getting ready to blow-up. I've learned that if I joke about it, I'm less stressed and the panic mode doesn't kick-in, which makes it easier when dealing with stressful situations. Besides I'm told that laughing is healthy for you........

    Dammit boy! I was hoping I was the only person on here to be unfortunate enough to have an ICD. I say unfortunate as it is life saving technology so I should be glad they put it in. I got the thing May 1 and they will just now let me go back to work. I don't feel bad and other than thinking I was having gut troubles and went to the doctor (that's when they caught the heart racing) I have never felt bad. Weird to be laid up and not hurting or sick. I made sure it was going on my left side so it wouldn't interfere with my shooting. Did get the gun room fixed up and lots of stuff done around the house so it hasn't been a total loss!
     

    wildrider666

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    We have those Banner dragging planes with signs like Benny's Barf Bucket 2 for 1 ads but they also drag double Red Flag Warnings. Wife's seen them but I haven't. I didn't find any real time Water Condition/Access point info. We have 96 Public Access Points and I don't think nearby business want info posted that may scare potential business away. Its all about the Benjamins! Lol
     

    Snake-Eyes

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    Seems like it would be too easy. A human being has to evaluate the water/beach conditions and make the determination. A human being has to manually put up the flags. How hard would it be for a human being somewhere in that chain of events to login to a state/county website and click a button to update the status of a beach?

    Then the tourists could see that as of x-timestamp, beach such-n-such is yellow flag, etc.
     

    wildrider666

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    Its not difficult to do. Its about the perception of steering tourist dollars away from businesses near Red and Purple Flags. Very similar to the movie Jaws and Amity Island. We now have on shore based Shark fishing Permits but no Permit requirement to Shark fish from a vessel. Why a new barrier to catching sharks only from land/Beach? It cuts down the oppertunity to scare tourists for fear they won't come back and also spread the info. It's one thing to know sharks are "out there somewhere, its another that they're at this BEACH.
     

    Big Shrek

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    Its not difficult to do. Its about the perception of steering tourist dollars away from businesses near Red and Purple Flags. Very similar to the movie Jaws and Amity Island. We now have on shore based Shark fishing Permits but no Permit requirement to Shark fish from a vessel. Why a new barrier to catching sharks only from land/Beach? It cuts down the oppertunity to scare tourists for fear they won't come back and also spread the info. It's one thing to know sharks are "out there somewhere, its another that they're at this BEACH.

    They never really appreciated us spear-fishing from the Pensacola Beach Pier for sharks...even back in the 80's!! But you could see 'em so well from up there!!
     

    IronBeard

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    And then there's the whole flesh-eating bacteria thing that used to just eat a hole in ya, but now kills ya in less than a week. Ya think maybe somebody is out to eradicate the tourists? Of course, you could always go over to the local water part and swim with the Baby Ruth bar........
     

    Viking1204

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    FLT

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    Well, several people tried to tell her not to eat the baby ruth she found floating in the water.:bolt:
     

    wildrider666

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    Most folks don't know that after heavy rain (standing water on land) there is a large increase in runoff to the Gulf. That dumps sewage, pesticides and other toxic/bio/hazards on top of the existing crud. Ecoli is common, if get that water up your nose or mouth. The flesh eating bacteria is always out there, never go in the water with an open wound, that bug is in ground soil too.
     

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